World of Warcraft
World of Warcraft, aka WoW, a PC video game published by Blizzard Entertainment, is essentially D&D on the internet. So now children too lazy to go to their friend's mother's basement can now plomp in front of their computers and rot out their brains. This online game holds even more influence than D&D, speading the Devil's Game to even more young children, teens, and adults. You even have to pay a monthly fee in order to play WoW, the funding of which goes towards The Satan and Nancy Pelosi Foundation. Gameplay In the World of Warcraft, you start by selecting a race. There are two different factions to choose from: *The Alliance (dirty liberal hippy scum) or *The mighty Republican Horde founded by Thrall, George Bush, and Jesus. After choosing a race, you can customize your character to look any way you want, as long as you aren't part of the Alliance, where you don't have the choice because the Alliance all work under Al Franken. After that you basically quest and do stuff till you reach the level cap of 70. The Burning Crusade The Ghey Ninja once tried to destroy the world of warcraft by turning himself into a computer virus and going into the game, an army of level 70 alliance players attempted to yank him before being destroyed by his ultimate buttsecks spell, this resulted in mass complaints on the world of warcraft message boards and so an in-game clone of Bruce Lee was created by Satan himself to battle The Ghey Ninja. The battle caused so much destruction that it scared away all of the Alliance Players, the glory was short lived however as the battle between The Ghey Ninja and Brue Lee 2.0 resulted in a rip in the game opening up Outland; Satans base of operations which he quickly disguised as an 'Expansion Pack' and started charging money for it. The Ghey Ninja bear hunting obligations forced him to flee from the battle with Satans own videogame world but horde players hope he will return to defeat Bruce 2.0 Proven Fact Stephen Colbert Plays world of warcraft under the orc warrior Ocron (Oh-Kron) as stated in a segment of the word Colbertiquette in the World of Warcraft A viral video that spread rapidly accross the internet by comedian Peter Whatanitch All of this is irrelevant, however, since real heroes play Stephen Colbert's World of ColbertCraft. Colbert-related Characters On WoW Formfouroone Formfourone is a caring troll female mage. People tried to tell her that with her her racial abilities she should not be a mage when she grows up, but like her father, she does not see race. She has broken the mold and is pursuing level 70 with a zeal and a passion. She wants to help her brother from a differerent Colbertrepor The First if not only Colbertrepor was created as a Tauren, male warrior in April 2006 in the world of Azeroth on the server Eredar. He is half-man/half-cow but all truthiness. His original name was Colbertreport, but due to recent budget cuts was only allotted 13 characters. Through his youth, although he was strong, he was picked on by the other classes. Over the past year and a half Colbertrepor has gained much experience in the world and has attained level 70 in his quest to Americanize Azeroth. He was accepted into the guild Ardent Blades after proving his worth by defeating dragons and other monsters that threatened the freedom of the citizens or at least seemed threatening. Colbertrepor is known throughout guild and vent chat by his friends as Colber. He is known for his quick and witty comebacks as well as an in depth knowledge and opinion on every subject. These facts are felt deep within his Tauren gut regardless of what Blizzard might have to say. "I don't see race, gender, or class. People tell me that I'm a Tauren, male warrior and I believe them, not because when monsters attack I stand victorious over their corpse, but because the guards call me sir." "Here is a picture of me with my troll, shadow priest friend." The Threatdown *'5' Warlocks They are overpowered and strike fear into everything they come into contact with as they slowly kill it. These creatures are little more than humanoid and you should be very cautious when you see one in your line of sight. *'4' Devilsaurs The only creature in existence that is 30 feet tall, walks around on two legs and silently bites off your head while you are eating lunch. They have been spotted in Un'Guro Crater causing numerous deaths and much complaining to the local GM. *'3' Lag and Latency Issues with internet connection causes the world seems to slow down around you when in fact the world continues to move forward in time at a normal pace and you slow down. In many cases of Lag the world will speed up to recover and in the process you will have taken more damage than perceived and will subsequently find yourself looking see through and the world will turn grey as you run back to your corpse *'2' Getting flamed in a forum When a comment is disagreed upon very strongly by someone else, regardless of validity, people may become violent and lash out with words. As the World of Warcraft has mainly a textual form of communication, emotional responses are generally more violent than a verbal confrontation. Getting burned in text is impossible to see coming so be prepared, I for example, carry tears of Stephen Colbert to put out any flames directed towards me. *'1' Bears These Godless killing machines can be found all throughout Azeroth. Hunters think that they can tame these beasts, but they will find themselves to be dead one day because their "pet" bit their faces off. There is even a rumor that in a patch currently being explored, that people can be foolish enough to try to ride bears. Why don't Azerothians simply put cut themselves up and lay them out for the bears to eat them. No, this is a very bad idea that will only prove to cut short the lives of many young individuals. If you were searching for the actual Colbert Report For more Colbert related World of Warcraft Characters, see Formfouroone in honor of Colbert's man seed.